My Ex From Hell by Tellulah Darling
(The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1)
Publication date: April 1st 2013
Genres: Fantasy, Mythology,
(The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1)
Publication date: April 1st 2013
Genres: Fantasy, Mythology,
Synopsis:
Sixteen-year-old Sophie Bloom wishes she’d been taught the following:
a) Bad boy’s presence (TrOuBlE) + teen girl’s brain (DraMa) = TrAuMa (Highly unstable and very volatile.)
b) The Genus Greekulum Godissimus is notable for three traits: 1) awesome abilities, 2) grudges, and 3) hook-ups, break-ups, and in-fighting that puts cable to shame.
Prior to the Halloween dance, Sophie figures her worst problems involve adolescent theatrics, bitchy teen yoga girls, and being on probation at her boarding school for mouthy behaviour. Then she meets bad boy Kai and gets the kiss that rocks her world.
Literally.
This breath stealing lip lock reawakens Sophie’s true identity: Persephone, Goddess of Spring. She’s key to saving humanity in the war between the Underworld and Olympus, target numero uno of Hades and Zeus, and totally screwed.
Plus there’s also the little issue that Sophie’s last memory as Persephone was just before someone tried to murder her.
Big picture: master her powers, get her memories back, defeat Persephone’s would be assassin, and save the world. Also, sneak into the Underworld to retrieve stolen property, battle the minions of Hades and Zeus, outwit psycho nymphs, slay a dragon, rescue a classmate, keep from getting her butt expelled from the one place designed to keep her safe … and stop kissing Kai, Prince of the Underworld.
My Ex From Hell is a YA romantic comedy, Greek mythology smackdown. Love meets comedy with a whole lot of sass in book one of this teen fantasy romance series. Compared to Kai and Sophie, Romeo and Juliet had it easy.
a) Bad boy’s presence (TrOuBlE) + teen girl’s brain (DraMa) = TrAuMa (Highly unstable and very volatile.)
b) The Genus Greekulum Godissimus is notable for three traits: 1) awesome abilities, 2) grudges, and 3) hook-ups, break-ups, and in-fighting that puts cable to shame.
Prior to the Halloween dance, Sophie figures her worst problems involve adolescent theatrics, bitchy teen yoga girls, and being on probation at her boarding school for mouthy behaviour. Then she meets bad boy Kai and gets the kiss that rocks her world.
Literally.
This breath stealing lip lock reawakens Sophie’s true identity: Persephone, Goddess of Spring. She’s key to saving humanity in the war between the Underworld and Olympus, target numero uno of Hades and Zeus, and totally screwed.
Plus there’s also the little issue that Sophie’s last memory as Persephone was just before someone tried to murder her.
Big picture: master her powers, get her memories back, defeat Persephone’s would be assassin, and save the world. Also, sneak into the Underworld to retrieve stolen property, battle the minions of Hades and Zeus, outwit psycho nymphs, slay a dragon, rescue a classmate, keep from getting her butt expelled from the one place designed to keep her safe … and stop kissing Kai, Prince of the Underworld.
My Ex From Hell is a YA romantic comedy, Greek mythology smackdown. Love meets comedy with a whole lot of sass in book one of this teen fantasy romance series. Compared to Kai and Sophie, Romeo and Juliet had it easy.
Purchase - only 0.99c on Kobo, iTunes, and Amazon:
EXCERPT
The
creek began to shimmer. Instinctively, I took a step back, placing
Theo square
between
me and the water. A form rose gracefully from the surface.
Nysa was
everything one might expect of a nymph. Slender, with waist length
auburn
ringlets
and large blue eyes, her skin was creamy white. Basically, she was
gorgeous.
Unfair! I punched Theo who turned confused eyes my way.
“Next time,” I hissed “prepare me so I can dress
appropriately.” I’d never been a girl to care about keeping up
with the Jones’, but sheesh! Sweats versus the dazzlingness of a
nymph was a little too unbalanced,
even
for me. All I needed to complete the moment was Kai showing up.
I
tensed, unsure of how to greet such a spectacular creature and
thinking of possible
formal
salutations. Then she opened her mouth.
“Ahhhhhh”
she squealed. “Oh my goddess, I can’t even believe it’s you!”
She bopped out of the river—clad only in some strategically placed
seaweed—and rushed me like a twelve- year-old girl reunited with
her BFF at summer camp.
She
jumped up and down as she clenched me in a hug. Squashed, I looked
past her to Theo, who was lamely attempting to keep his composure.
“Like,
I can’t even believe you’re here? When I heard from Prometheus, I
was all ‘no way.’ But he was like ‘way.’ And he’s such a
serious ninny that I totally knew he wasn’t lying.”
That
description of Theo so failed to resonate with me that I made a
mental note to learn whatever I could about Prometheus. Turning human
must have entailed a massive personality switch.
Nysa
hadn’t stopped talking this entire time. “... She was being such
a Medusa head about letting me come. We both knew it was about that
seriously cute shepherd liking me and not her. So. Not. My. Fault.”
She tossed her hair. “I can’t help being beautiful.” Nysa
screeched again. “I love your new size. You used to be so tall, but
now ...” She pranced around me in a gleeful jig. “We’re the
same height. It’s like we’re sisters!” She poked my padded (99%
clothing, 1% chocolate) belly. “‘Cept I’m the skinny one!”
Nysa
threaded her arm through mine and waited. I had no idea what for.
“Uh, yeah.”
Apparently
that was enough because she jumped up and down. “Whaddya wanna do
first?”
“Get
the box?”
She
stopped jumping and turned a very displeased frown on me. I rushed
on. “Please. We’re under a kind of tight timeline.”
The
creek water bubbled. I glanced at it nervously. “And there are a
few people who need to be saved.”
Steam
rose off the water. Nysa glowered at me with full-on hatred. “You
haven’t seen me in sixteen years and all you can say is you want
the box?”
I
had the strongest sense that should I say the wrong thing, she might
cause my blood to bubble. Time to switch gears. I tossed my hair in
my best Bethany imitation and fake laughed. “Just to get the stupid
thing out of the way, silly. Theo—Prometheus is so uptight about
it. Mr. Stick-up-his-butt.”
Theo
glared at me, but it was the least he deserved. It was also the right
thing to say because Nysa brightened and slapped her forehead. “You.
Are. So. Right.” She retrieved a small black plastic cube from the
creek and tossed it to Theo. It didn’t look big enough to hold a
finger, much less an entire head. “Scram, boy. This is girlfriend
only time.”
“Wouldn’t
dream of impinging,” he said, a big smile on his face.
The
look I fired back at him promised tortures galore. He was going to
leave me with this mentally unstable, dangerous child? I sighed.
Fine. I’d give Nysa half an hour and then beg off.
“What
now?” I asked brightly.
“Kyrillos.” She giggled. “Spill.”
I
thought it was going to be a very long half hour.
I was so wrong.
It was a very long six hours. She made me tell her every detail of my
life,
then
regaled me with her share of sixteen years worth of gossip involving
total strangers. Supposedly, I’d known them at some point and
should have had a shred of interest. It made reality television seem
deep. I couldn’t believe I’d cared about it all, at any point.
Somewhere
during my third seaweed wrap at the makeshift spa Nysa had set up
creekside, as she prattled on about the ongoing saga between
Aphrodite and her latest boy toy, I zoned out. I was exhausted,
hungry, numb, and suffering from a blinding migraine. If I didn’t
get away from Nysa and her mindless chattering soon, I was going to
turn my powers on myself, end my suffering, and let the human race
fend for itself.
I
rose and shook off the seaweed. “This has been so super swell but I
have to get ready for class.” Nysa stared at me like I was an
idiot.
“But,
like, you’re a goddess.”
“In human form.”
“No probs.
I’ll come with.” Her eyes shone with fervent eagerness. Yeah.
That would be
great.
She could swan into my school mostly naked and I’d pass her off as
my cousin. I’m sure no one would mind.
“Are
there a lot of cuties?”
That
finished it for me. There was already a dragon loose at Hope Park. No
nympho nymphs needed. We were full up.
About the Author:
Tellulah Darlingnoun
Sassy girls. Swoony boys. What could go wrong?
1. YA romantic comedy author because her first kiss sucked and she's compensating.
2. Alter ego of former screenwriter.
3. Sassy minx.
Writes about: where love meets comedy. Awkwardness ensues.
Tellulah Darling is a firm believer that some of the best stories happen when love meets comedy. Which is why she has so much fun writing YA romantic comedy books. Her books span contemporary, teen fantasy romance, and YA Greek mythology, and range from stand alones to series. For Tellulah, teen romance is the most passionate, intense, and awkward there is – a comedy goldmine. Plus smart, mouthy, teen girls rock.
Author links:
GIVEAWAY
No comments:
Post a Comment